I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Randomize
