Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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