i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
