her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
she looked like the before picture.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
