Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
