What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
