I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
