And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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