his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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