I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
