i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
