it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
