Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
