The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
