No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
