Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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