Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize