the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
