yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
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