if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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