I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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