All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize