It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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