You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
