Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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