he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
