So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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