as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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