Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
being pregnant is like rehab
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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