I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize