Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
