Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
