apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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