I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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