Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
