i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
