Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
