why didn't you poke me back
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize