so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Randomize