I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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