So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
