i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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