Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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