WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You can't special order awesome
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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