i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
