as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
