I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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