areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
