Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
