You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
