I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize