Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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