do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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