let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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