she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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