...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
