I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
