we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
we're so committed to being not committed
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize