Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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