why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
