I think my fart just growled at me.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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