he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
