I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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