He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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