Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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