He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
