This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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