Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
