what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
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